🌿 How to Love Yourself When You've Never Been Shown How

"Imagine you're holding the hand of your younger self. That little version of you—maybe 4, maybe 9, maybe 12—maybe older - who was doing their best in a confusing world. Loving yourself now begins with learning how to take care of them.”

"Ask: What did that child need but never received? Comfort? Encouragement? Protection? Permission to feel?”

"That’s where you start. With small, steady acts of care. Not grand gestures—just tiny, daily whispers that say: 'You matter now. I’m here for you.'”

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“I Don’t Know How to Love Anyone… Especially Myself.”

This is something I’ve heard from many people I work with. And if you’ve ever thought or spoken those words yourself, please know: you are not broken. You are healing. And healing often begins with learning something we were never taught—how to love ourselves.

For many of us, love wasn't modelled in a healthy way growing up. Maybe it came with conditions, silence, or confusion. If love was something you had to earn or chase, it makes sense that self-love now feels unfamiliar or even impossible.

But here’s the truth:

Love is something you can learn. And it begins with how you speak to, treat, and show up for yourself—especially the younger version of you that still lives inside.

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💗 Loving Me, Gently

Here’s a gentle affirmation I often share:

“Today, I choose to care for me the way I would care for a child I adore.”

That’s the kind of love we’re aiming for—not grand or perfect, but steady and kind. Here’s what that might look like in practice:

• I speak kindly to myself, even when I make mistakes.

• I let myself rest, without guilt.

• I remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect to be loved.

• I eat and move in ways that make my body feel safe and nourished.

• I give myself permission to feel.

• I protect my time, my energy, and my peace.

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🌱 Where to Start: Simple Practices That Teach Love

These aren’t big, complicated self-care rituals. These are soft, powerful reminders that you matter.

📝 Write a note to your younger self.

Say what you needed to hear back then. Keep it simple. Read it often.

💭 Ask: “What do I need right now?”

Pause. Listen. Then do one small thing to meet that need.

🛑 Say no when something drains you.

Every “no” to what harms you is a “yes” to yourself.

🤲 Place your hand on your heart.

Whisper: “I’m learning how to love you. Thank you for waiting.”

✨ Celebrate the tiny wins.

You showed up. You tried. You felt something. That matters.

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💬 A Loving Reminder

You did not miss your chance to be loved.

You are building love now—from the inside out.

You are not too late.

You are not alone.

And you are deeply worthy of your own care.

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If this message speaks to you, you're not alone. This is the work we do gently, day by day. If you’d like support on your journey, I offer one-to-one sessions both in-person and online. You’re welcome here—just as you are.

🪷 With warmth and encouragement,

Anne